The anxiety was electric. The energy was electric. Every Bears fan in the place was looking around like we had accidentally walked into the wrong game.
Because when the hell do the Chicago Bears score 59 points?
Even my wife, executive editor of this blog, looked at me and said, “When do you ever see a 59-point game from the Bears? But we’ve got to fix the defense.”
Exactly.
This was a 59 burger with a side of Carolina blue. It was wild, explosive, fun as hell, and just uncomfortable enough to keep you from fully relaxing.
Here We Fucking Go
When Luther Burden fumbled the ball, I immediately thought: Fuck, man. Already? Here we go.
You could almost picture the Panthers laughing. These motherfuckers probably thought this was going to be easy.
Then the Bears’ offense went to work.
Caleb Williams looked phenomenal. He was calm. He took the short and intermediate throws. When nobody was open, he threw the ball away instead of trying to become Superman on every play. When the underneath man was there, he found him. And when he put the ball where it needed to go, his receivers actually caught the fucking thing.
That may sound basic, but after last season it felt revolutionary.
Caleb was not running around with his hair on fire. He did not have to play hero ball all afternoon. The offense looked organized, fast, and dangerous. Through three quarters, the Bears were sitting on 45 points, and I kept thinking: Where the fuck did this come from? Is this real, or am I watching a mirage?
With Drew Brees, one of my all-time favorites, calling the game, it felt like we were watching the beginning of something special.
Khalif Raymond Had Himself a Day
Khalif Raymond had an absolute monster fucking game.
He kept getting open. Caleb kept finding him. Raymond looked dependable, explosive, and completely comfortable in the offense. He was Caleb’s guy throughout the game, and that connection mattered.
The lack of drops mattered too.
Last year, too many good throws ended with the ball on the ground and Caleb looking like he wanted to scream into a pillow. On Sunday, the receivers helped their quarterback. If Caleb put the ball out there, somebody went and got it.
That gives a young quarterback confidence. It also gives Ben Johnson a much bigger playbook, because he does not have to call every play wondering whether somebody is going to turn a routine catch into a fucking crisis.
The offensive line did their job, and Monangai and Swift showed the Bears can get big yards when they need to. For once, it felt like we had an offense capable of controlling the clock instead of begging the defense to save it.
I love that part. I really do.
But there is still an elephant standing in the middle of the bar.
Bro, That Pass Rush Sucks
I know the Bears scored 59 points.
Bro, that pass rush still sucks.
There was no push up front. The defensive line looked like it was being shoved out of the fucking bar. Bryce Young is 5-foot-10 on a generous day, and he was standing back there killing the defense because nobody could get near him.
At one point, somebody in the bar yelled, “If you give Odeyingbo ten minutes to get to the quarterback, he still couldn’t sack the fucking guy.”
I laughed out loud because he was absolutely right.
The problem was visible all game. No pressure. Too much time. Too many clean pockets. Caleb would lead another scoring drive, sit down, look back at the field, and probably think: Fuck, B, I’ve gotta go score again?
You cannot ask the offense to save you every Sunday. Even an elite offense is going to have a bad quarter, a turnover, or a game when the timing is off. At some point, the defense has to stop somebody.
Give the Rookies Their Flowers
I am not going to be Negative Nancy after a 59-point win, because some of these rookies came ready to play.
Dillon Thieneman was all over the field, making plays and looking like he belonged. And Malik Muhammad looked like a pro, especially on that game-winning interception of Bryce Young. What a way to begin an NFL career.
Muhammad looked every bit like the player we saw at Texas: tall, long, confident, and built like that Seattle-style corner this defense badly needs.
That mattered because Jaylon Johnson looked slow. Maybe it was just a bad game. Bad games happen. But he has to shake that shit off quickly, because Justin Jefferson is coming to town next week.
And then there is Tyrique Stevenson.
Your boy remains a bag of Tribeca trash.
