Thanks for Fixing the Flat, Washington
Lions 19, Bears 16
So yeah—thanks, Washington.
Or nee’ Redskins.
Appreciate you fixing the flat for the Bears.
Because the Bears came out flat as fuck.
No urgency.
No speed.
No energy.
And you played the starters for this shit?
You’re walking into the playoffs on a two-game losing streak, and even my lady—executive editor of this blog—looked at the screen and said:
“Where’s the fucking energy, bro?”
That’s when you know you’re in trouble.
If You’re for Real, Show Us in the 1st Quarter
If this team is actually for real, they have to let us know in the first fucking quarter.
Not the fourth.
Not with 5:07 left.
Not with two timeouts and prayers.
That shit has to stop.
Like my boy—and South Side lifer—Jamar said during the game:
“This shit has to stop. This isn’t the fucking ’90s Bulls. And Jordan ain’t walking through that door to save us.”
That’s not hate.
That’s Chicago realism.
This Defense Is Slow. Painfully Fucking Slow
I’ve said this since Day One.
I said it in the preseason.
And now it’s screaming off the film.
The linebackers are fucking trash.
When this defense has to play man?
They get absolutely fucking cooked.
No closing speed.
No recovery speed.
No violence.
Detroit ran about three Madden plays all game:
Double cross
Off tackle
HB dive
And the Bears got fucking schooled.
CJ Gardner is getting absolutely fucking destroyed because there’s no second-level speed to clean anything up. He’s left on an island while linebackers jog in place like useless traffic cones.
This is not a playoff defense.
This is a defense that’s about to get fucking brutalized.
Stop Jerking Off to Stats
And miss me with the “Caleb almost got 4,000 yards” bullshit.
No one gives a fuck, Bro.
You don’t hear Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks saying:
“Golly, I’m so glad I hit 4,000 yards.”
They say:
“We won the fucking game.”
“We’re world champions.”
Make stops.
Get off the fucking field.
Protect the quarterback by not forcing him to play hero ball every week.
This isn’t Madden.
This isn’t fantasy football.
This is the NFL — and film doesn’t fucking lie.
Where the Fuck Was the Offense Early?
And Ben Johnson doesn’t get a pass.
Why the fuck wasn’t Burden getting the ball in the first half?
Why are we easing into games like this is Week 2?
You’re not just playing to beat Green Bay.
You’re playing to save your fucking NFL career.
Because tape doesn’t care what round you were drafted in.
Tape doesn’t care about excuses.
You keep playing like this, and you’re not playing anywhere.
And Yeah — It’s the Packers. This Saturday
Let’s be crystal clear.
You’re playing the Packers.
This Saturday.
On national television.
This isn’t about vibes.
This isn’t about stats.
This is about whether you belong in January football at all.
Because if you come out flat again—
If you wait until the fourth quarter again—
Green Bay won’t “fix the flat.”
They’ll run your ass over.
The Fix Is So Obvious It’s Embarrassing
We need linebackers.
Not “system” linebackers.
I want run-to-the-ball and hit-you-so-hard-your-mama-comes-down-to-the-field-screaming-stop-hitting-my-boy linebackers.
That’s the fucking standard.
Briggs.
Urlacher.
Remember us? We kicked the shit out of people!
