The Bears’ Best Player Doesn’t Wear a Jersey: His Name is Ben Johnson

Bears 31, Steelers 28

A buddy asked me earlier this week:

“If you had to call it… who’s the best player on the Bears?”

I told him:
“Ben Johnson.”

He started laughing.
But I wasn’t joking.

He is our best player.
And he doesn’t even wear a jersey.

So let’s talk about him.


Ben Johnson: Offensive Coordinator, Head Coach, QB Therapist, Miracle Worker

If it wasn’t for Ben Johnson, this team would be a closed bottle of mediocrity floating in the middle of the ocean with no sails, no map, no compass, and no hope. We’d be sitting through another year of “almost,” drinking beer on our couch, mumbling “maybe next season” through clenched teeth.

Instead, Johnson built a coaching staff that actually fucking coaches.
He put an offense together that runs to daylight, and throws just enough to make Caleb look… well… relevant. His play-calling isn’t just a game plan — it’s a weapon. A “holy shit, we might score again” kind of weapon.

Say what you want, but we’re winning because Ben Johnson knows exactly how to use this roster.


The Caleb Rollercoaster

Caleb Williams is a rollercoaster, bro.
One drive, you’re screaming, “WOW, MAYBE HE IS THAT GUY!”
Next drive, you’re yelling, “WHO THE FUCK DRAFTED THIS GUY?!”

He missed easy throws again on Sunday.
Multiple.
And yeah, these misses are starting to feel like death by a thousand cuts.

And then there was that sack-fumble-touchdown by future Hall of Famer T.J. Watt.
I’m not joking — I almost ripped my TV off the wall like I was getting paid to destroy it.

Bro… get rid of the ball.
Throw the easy throws.
Don’t take a delay of game.

The simple shit.

Because this playmaking magic won’t last forever. Eventually, you have to beat teams the normal way — by doing the easy things correctly.


Holy Shit… the Bears Are 8–3

Think about this for a second.
Last year, this team dropped ten straight.

Now?
We’ve won 8 of the last 9.

The Chicago Bears are:

8–3.

Let that sit in your chest for a minute.

That record is better than:

• Ravens (6–5)

• Bills (7–4)

• Chiefs (6–5 — and don’t get me started on the weekly Christmas-gift calls)

• Packers (7–3–1)

This is some 2018-level shit — but without the horseshit play-calling and Bitchell.
We’ve got momentum, turnovers, and this weird, “wait are we actually good?” confidence leaking across the NFL.

Football actually feels fun again.


Run Game, O-Line, and a GM Who Got Too Cute

Credit where it’s due. The offensive line has been legit.
The Bears are 2nd in the entire NFL in rushing.

D’Andre Swift is running his ass off.
Kyle Monangai (yeah, I still don’t know how to spell it because he wasn’t supposed to matter) is coming along at the perfect time. If this continues, the Bears are headed somewhere with actual hope.

But the defense?
Trash juice.

Outside of Montez Sweat — no pass rush.
And Hippolyte? Bro… his college scouting report is literally happening live every Sunday.
Can’t diagnose a run.
Can’t shed a block.
Speed, no instincts. Like a track star who wandered into the wrong sport.

Painful.

This is what happens when your GM — the same one Bears “media” is suddenly calling Executive of the Year (LMFAO) — drafts like he’s spinning a fucking Wheel of Fortune.

If this front office had half a brain and drafted real defenders, we wouldn’t have these Cardiac Bears finishes every week. We’d be blowing teams out.


Bright Spots on Defense

Thank God for Nashon Wright.
This dude is playing like he’s auditioning for a massive payday. Another pick, more big plays. If this keeps up, somebody’s going to pay him starter money.

If we get Jaylon Johnson and Kyler Gordon back healthy soon, the secondary might actually stop the bleeding.

Bayard is picking off everyone.
Brisker finally remembered how to tackle.
That deflection to close the game? Beautiful.

But right now, this defense gives up 95-yard drives like a doorman waving drunk people into a bar at 1 AM.


Six Games Left

Black Friday.
In Philly.

That’s the test.
That’s the game that’s going to show the world whether the Chicago Bears are real, or just a Hallmark movie with good lighting.

The Super Bowl Birds — the Eagles — are waiting.
They just got curb-stomped by Dallas.
They’re pissed.
They’re hungry.

And you know what?

Let’s fucking go.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Enjoy your turkey.
Enjoy your Birds.
Because the Chicago Bears might be ready to fly with them.

Ben Johnson is driving the bus.
And he might actually run us straight into the playoffs.



As of Today, the Chicago Bears are valued at approximately $8.2 billion.

We're waiting…