How To Be Full of Shit Without Using AI
What the fuck is wrong with this team, bro?
I needed a week. A whole fucking week.
My friends sent me the photo that's now the cover of this blog post, and I literally had to breathe, walk around, and resist the urge to chuck my phone into the fucking Hudson River.
Because once again, just when you think the Chicago Bears couldn't possibly fuck things up more than they already have...
They say:
"Nah, son, we got you."
THIS. SHIT. IS. CRAZY.
And this actress GM?
The guy has a career record of 15–36.
Four seasons. NO PLAYOFF APPEARANCES!
Not a single Pro Bowler drafted on his watch is still on the damn roster.
And what do the Bears do?
They handed him a five-year extension before a single preseason snap.
Not after a playoff win.
Not after a .500 season.
Before a single padded practice.
LET’S REWIND.
Remember that horseshit quote?
"We're going to take the North and never give it back."
Yeah? Well, guess what—
The North never even knew it was missing.
Meanwhile, your Chicago Bears?
Drafted a 3rd-round kick returner.
Drafted a 4th-round punter.
Admitted publicly to missing on the running backs they needed in the draft.
And there's more, but I may overload the server.
And then?
Gave the guy in charge a fucking raise? How does that work?
LET ME SAY THIS ANOTHER WAY
This is like working at a law firm and watching some clueless fuck who can't even send an email, who doesn't bang the boss or have blackmail on anyone—somehow make partner.
Everyone hates him.
He adds nothing.
He's the guy who somehow gets promoted because he knows how to fill out forms properly.
That's this actress GM.
He's the "Exhibit A" of failing upward in America.
I've seen some wild-ass Bears bullshit over my 40 years of fandom.
But this?
Holy. Shit.
The Bears could take over a terrorist organization and have it disbanded in five weeks from sheer incompetence.
AI COULD FIX THIS TEAM
I even asked Grok, and you know what she said?
$3 Million? You Fucking Serious?
